I told you so!

A bloke was driving down the highway when he was pulled over by the cops. " What did I do Sarge," he yells as the cop walks up.
"Nothin mate. You just happen to be the one-millionth driver who's been along this road since it's been open,and you've been awarded a $1000 prize."
"Bewdy, Sarge," he says.
" So what do you reckon you might spend it on," the Sarge inquires.
" I reckon I might take the money and get some driving lessons so I can get my licence."
"What," the cop explodes.
Just then the bloke's wife leans over from the back seat, thumps the bloke on the shoulder and bellows:
" Don't take any notice of him Sarge, he's drunk.
And, the mother-in-law, from the back seat, thumps the guy on the shoulder and screams:
"See --- I told ya you'd get into trouble driving a stolen car."




A husband and wife were sitting at home one evening because the husband did not take his customary time off to go down to the pub with his mates.
The telephone rang , when he had answered it and hung up, the husband turned to his wife,
" It's about time people learned to use the telephone properly. Fancy thinking this was the Coast Guard Station,"
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Some silly mongrel just rang up and asked me if the coast was clear."


A man came home from work one day and found his normally neat and tidy house in a dreadful mess.
He was astounded..... he could hardly believe his eyes.
"What's been going on?" he asked his wife. "What's happened?"
She bared her teeth and snarled, " You're always asking what I do all day. Well now know.
Today I didn't do it."


That's all Folks.