Tuesday, May 08, 2007

I told you so!

A bloke was driving down the highway when he was pulled over by the cops. " What did I do Sarge," he yells as the cop walks up.
"Nothin mate. You just happen to be the one-millionth driver who's been along this road since it's been open,and you've been awarded a $1000 prize."
"Bewdy, Sarge," he says.
" So what do you reckon you might spend it on," the Sarge inquires.
" I reckon I might take the money and get some driving lessons so I can get my licence."
"What," the cop explodes.
Just then the bloke's wife leans over from the back seat, thumps the bloke on the shoulder and bellows:
" Don't take any notice of him Sarge, he's drunk.
And, the mother-in-law, from the back seat, thumps the guy on the shoulder and screams:
"See --- I told ya you'd get into trouble driving a stolen car."

A husband and wife were sitting at home one evening because the husband did not take his customary time off to go down to the pub with his mates.
The telephone rang , when he had answered it and hung up, the husband turned to his wife,
" It's about time people learned to use the telephone properly. Fancy thinking this was the Coast Guard Station,"
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Some silly mongrel just rang up and asked me if the coast was clear."

A man came home from work one day and found his normally neat and tidy house in a dreadful mess.
He was astounded..... he could hardly believe his eyes.
"What's been going on?" he asked his wife. "What's happened?"
She bared her teeth and snarled, " You're always asking what I do all day. Well now know.
Today I didn't do it."

That's all Folks.


wazza said...

Gidday Margaret,
Ah there you are. How's the move going? Seen the 1st joke before but it's still bloody funny. Wouldn't you like to see the look on the cop's face while all these comments are coming out.

Peter said...

Hi Margaret, good to see a post I was starting to think you must have had a relapse.

Lee said...

Thanks for the laughs, Margaret...they were great. :)

Jim said...

Hi Margaret -- Well, I didn't do it either. I'm on holiday!
Jim's Little Blog will be operated by Karen and/or Billy until mid-June.
I will try to find an Internet cafe in the jail house so I can check in every now and then.

Meow said...

Great jokes, Margaret.
Hope you are well.
Take care, Meow

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Margaret,

I enjoyed the jokes!

Lol- especially that first one!!


Lee said...

Thanks for your kind words in my blog, Margaret. I appreciate them. :)

I enjoy visiting you, as well!

Leann said...

love the song on here.LOL!!!the jokes crack me up.the one about the hubby saying hat do you do all day is so true.as if a person can set and have a clean house.
my dauthers hubby did it for a while.then one day he learned when she went to work.he learned some one has to be there to clean it or it dont get done.
happy mothers day.((((((((((HUGS)))))

Gwen said...

Hi Margaret.
Loved your jokes,some women sure can get you into trouble.Ha! Ha!
Stay Well xx

Jeanette said...

Hi Margret the first joke gave me a good laugh.
BTW. how is the packing and moving going, Take care watch your back dont over do it..

Merle said...

Hi Margaret ~~ Enjoyed the jokes, thanks. Also thank you for the comments, glad you lked the Mother's Day post. The new laptop isn't going well yet, but will be great when I get it fixed. I hope you have had a lovely Mother's Day today. Take care,
won't be long now till the move !!
Love, Merle.

Christina said...

Great jokes, especially that last one. LOL!