Sunday, January 14, 2007

Virus

Hello everyone, I must apologise for my absence. I have been laid low with a virus.
Read me, not my computer. My computer doe not work when I have the virus either,
I am on the mend now so thought I would try to catch up with some of what I have missed the past week.
A friend of mine sent me an email of the following. I thought it may amuse those who have not already seen it .






For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics

(and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the

road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh! would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. Now that's a LULU!

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. Has that got something to do with "gates"?

23 comments:

Peter said...

Sorry to read you haven't been well Margaret, hope you are over the worst of it by now.
We are in sync, you're comment just came in as I was about to press publish.

Leann said...

OOOOO do I love this one.yes and amen.I almost taught this dumb computer to fly the frist 2months I had it.about every other day I would say "Lord you got this thing for me .if you wan,t me to do the blog for you then you better get it fixed or Iam going to teach it to FLY!!!!see I live on the 7th floor and I thought it would fly real well.well the Lord fixed it every time.dont ask me how cause I dont know.I just sat there and pushed bottens tell it worked again.all I can say is if you have a computer,you need God to be your computer repair man.He dont call me a Idiat.love it love it.thanks for sharing it.and thanks for coming on my blog.God bless you Margaret.

Gwen said...

Hi Margaret ..
I find my computer is great but that's when it's working,but when it's acting up "WOW" not nice!!
Thanks for the visit,hope you are feeling better soon xx

wazza said...

Gidday Margaret,
I had a virus (me not the computer) over a month ago. I was over the virus within a week, but I had a annoying cough that kept on and on and it's just about gone so I know what it's like.
Loved the Bill Gates Expo story.

Jack K. said...

Margaret, glad to learn that you are on the mend.

I've seen these recently, too. If there wasn't a modicum of truth to them, they wouldn't be funny.

Make it a great day.

HORIZON said...

lol- l'll have to show this to my husband ;)

Sorry to hear you've been under the weather Margaret. I hope you continue to get better.
By the way l posted on the poem 'Sea Fever' and mentioned that you liked it too.
Bests

Tammy said...

That was cute...I hope this finds you on the mend!!
:-D

LittleJen said...

the quotes how true, have a great week!

Lee said...

Hahaha! How true...how true!

I was wondering where you were, Margaret. Sorry to hear you've been unwell. Glad you're on the mend now. Take care. :)

Merle said...

Dear Margaret ~~ I am so sorry you have been sick and hope you are truly better by now. Your article is very good. I like the last one about pressing start to turn the engine off. Take care, Margaret,Love Merle.

PEA said...

Oh you poor dear...that flu virus has really been going on around here too but so far it hasn't found me...shhhhh! Hopefully you're 100% real soon!! Love that article! LOL Hugs xox

Jim said...

Hi Margaret. I'm sorry you are sick but am glad you're getting better now.

It was nice to have that Bill Gates/GM goodie on hand. You still have your sense of humor? Whatever you do take good care of that!
..

JunieRose2005 said...

Margaret,


Sorry you've been ill-and hope you're fine by now!

That about the computers and cars was good! :)

Junie

Merle said...

Hi Margaret ~~ Thanks for your visit. Glad you liked the Marine and nurse story. I hope your cough has gone by now. Take care, Love, Merle.

Jeanette said...

HI Margaret
Sorry to hear your unwell I hope your well on the mend.
Computers are good when there working, and a pain in the butt when they decide to play up.
Take Care get plenty of rest. (((hugs))) Jan

Meow said...

Oh, Margaret, I hope you are feeling well again.
Have a great weekend.
Take care, Meow

Christina said...

Too funny. I had seen this one before but LOL all over again!

Sorry to hear you weren't feeling well. hope you're all better by now!

Britmum said...

I am so fed up to the back teeth with blogger and trying to comment. I hope that you are feeling much better now.

You have been tagged and you need to go to my blog to see what you have to do...... don't let the side down. lol

Take care xx

DellaB said...

Margaret, I love that joke, thank you. Sorry to hear you haven't been well, hope that you are improving quickly. Take care of yourself ...

Tammy said...

Sunday the 21st...Missing YOU!!
:-D

Lee said...

Where are you, Margaret? Come out and play! I hope you're okay. Best wishes.

Meow said...

Margaret, yoo-hoo (knocking on computer monitor) ... are you OK, are you there ... we miss you.
Hugs, Meow

Jim said...

Well, Margaret, we all are missing you. I hope you are ok?
..