A little Humour

Just a very quick post to say hello! I have the weekend off but am busy doing nothing of great interest, however it all needs to be done! Will post again soon. Have you ever wondered where and how yodelling began? Many years ago a man was travelling through the mountains of Switzerland . Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. ! The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn. As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, "Who is that man going into the barn?" "That fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn." The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn. About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went. The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn,! and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed. The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left. When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. "How could he leave without even saying goodbye," she cried. "We made such passionate love last night!" "What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain. The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!" The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out..... "LAIDTHEOLADEETOO"

Irreverent thoughts on marriage

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

Ogden Nash

By all means marry: if you get a good wife you’ll
Be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

Socrates

I never married because I have three pets at home
that answer the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog that growls every morning,
a parrot that swears all afternoon,
and a cat that comes home all hours of the night.

Marie Corelli

No man should have a secret from his wife
She invariably finds out.

Oscar Wilde

A husband should tell his wife everything that
she is sure to find out ,and before anyone else does.

Sir Thomas Robert Dewar

An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have ;
The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Agatha Christie

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own
Age—as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Phyllis Diller

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not
Ready for an institution

Mae West

When a man steals your wife, there is no better
Revenge than to let him keep her

Josh Billings.

Some things I have learned myself but often forget to put into practice!

When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t speak for a year and a half.
Gracie Allen (1904-1964)

Choose you friends by their character and your socks by their colour.
Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their colour is unthinkable. Anon.

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child.
Joe- Houldsworth

There is no point in being grown-up if you can’t be childish some times.
Dr Who

I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection;
Excellence I can reach for;
Perfection is God’s business.

Michael J Fox

When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t
Compare or compete, everybody will respect you.

Anon

Tee Shirt expressions on age.

I’m still hot…it just comes in flashes.

Every time I hear the dirty word “exercise’
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

At my age getting lucky means Finding my car
In the parking lot!

I’m not 50!
I’m $49.50 plus tax!

Keep staring….. I may do a trick.

Life is short make fun of it!

MORE QUOTES

Never allow the thoughtless to declare
That we have no tradition here!

Mary Gilmore……. The Ringer

(On Friendship.)

My books are friends that never fail me
Friendship is life with understanding

Thomas Carlyle .

The best way to cheer yourself up is
To cheer someone else up.

Mark Twain

If a man does not make new acquaintances as he
Advances through life,
He will soon find,Himself left alone.
A man sir, should keep his Friendship in good repair.

Samual Johnson.

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility,
Never an opportunity.

Kahill Gibran

Good friendship is the poetry of life!
Anon.

There is no possession as valuable
Than a loyal and faithful friend.

Socrates.

( Flowers )

The kiss of the sun for pardon’
The song of the birds for mirth,
One is nearer god’s heart in a garden
Than anywhere else on earth.

Dorothy Frances Gurney

Earth laughs in flowers

Ralph Waldo Emerson

What I need most of all are
Flowers, always, always.

Claude Monet

Buttercups and daisies.
Oh, the pretty flowers;
Coming ‘ere the springtime,
To tell of sunny hours.

Mary Hewitt

A rose can say “I love you”,
Orchids can enthrall,
But a weed bouquet in a chubby fist,
Oh my, that says it all.

Barbara Johnson

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell so sweet.

William Shakespeare “Romeo & Juliet”

Where you tend a rose, my friend,
A thistle cannot grow.

Friends are flowers in the garden of life

Some people are always grumbling that roses
have thorns. I am grateful that thorns have roses.

That's all for now !!