Tuesday, October 03, 2006

My Lyle

This is a photo of myself and Lyle taken on a night out at the Tin Can bay country Club.We would often have a night out at this venue to celebrate someone's birthday, or simply to have a social gathering.
I first met Lyle at a neighbour's house across the road from where I lived in Brisbane.
The friend's and my children attended school together. Lyle was always invited to any parties and BBQ's at this house. My husband Tom passed away and the family over the road took myself and my children under their wing. I began to be invited to group outing with these neighbours, eventually Lyle and I started to keep company and married. At the friend's house, we also had our own private church blessing for our marriage.
Lyle and I were married for 26 years, about 14 years of the "for better" and the remainder was sadly the "or worse" . This came about because of Lyle's failing health, Lyle retired about three years ahead of me, he used to potter around at home and help as much as he could. I retired myself at this time, I could see there was a need for me to spend as much quality time as possible with Lyle.
We moved up to Tin Can Bay to be closer to Lyle's brother who lived there at the time.
We met a wonderful group of real friends who Lyle and I both valued,of course I still do value them.
Lyle started out using a walking stick, this very quickly changed to a mobile scooter which I had to load in and out of the car.
This car was a small Sigma, I had to dismantle the scooter and place it all into the car
Then I would have to re-assemble it when we reached our destination. It was quite chore lifting it in and out of the car,the sections were very heavy and it had two heavy batteries.
We were by this stage sharing the property with Peter, Peter was upgrading his car so Lyle and I bought his current car which was a diesel Mercedes station wagon.
Peter made me a wooden board that I could place onto the bumper bar, fold the top of the scooter down then drive it up this ramp into the back of the wagon. Much Better all round.
Lyle very soon upgraded to a"wheelie walker" as his health worsened, then to a rollator which for those who don't know that is the body height walking frame.
Next came the wheel chair. I had it very good back at Gympie with daily respite centre, as well as in house respite carer when necessary.
Lyle had many trips in and out of hospital at this stage some I drove him in, other times it was the ambulance.
We decided to move to Brisbane, thinking it was our best choice, very bad mistake we did not have nearly as much assistance as we had in Gympie.
Lyle and I managed to muddle through at home for a little over five years with me being his carer. We bought a hoist and many other things to make things easier for me to keep caring for him.
Tragically it came to pass that I had to acknowledge that I was not able to deliver the level of care that was necessary anymore.The decision had to be made for Lyle to go into residential care.
This broke both Lyle's and my hearts, I had hoped to be able to care for him to the end. Lyle had to go into a Fall Out Chair I could not mangae this at home. This is a very large chair that folds down flat if needed. He still used to sleep in a bed of a night. His bed had an air mattress with an electric motor, to inflate and deflate the mattress continually, this prevented bed sores. Lyle remained in full care four almost
four years, he passed away last year on the 1st of September which is the first day of spring in Australia and is called Wattle Day. Two days after his 78th birthday.
We were both very fortunate that I was able to stay right by his side until the end. The last words he ever spoke to me were "I love you".
What a lovely thought he left me with. I still wish he was by my side, however he had some very tough years and I would not wish him to live on one extra day as he was.



Things To Keep In mind.

Computers make very fast accurate mistakes.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
My software never has bugs, it just develops random features.
Definition of an upgrade: Take the old bugs out and put new bugs in.
A computers attention span is as long as it's power cord.
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
Who's General Failure and why is he reading my disc?
RAM is "NOT" an installation procedure.
DEFINITION: Computer- a device to speed automatic errors.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
As a computer, I find you faith in technology amusing.



NOTICE;

This department requires no physical fitness program.

Everyone her gets enough exercise:-

Jumping to conclusions.
Flying off the handle.
Running down the boss.
Knifing friends in the back.
Dodging responsibility.
Pushing their luck.


I thought I would just do a post about my husband Lyle, just a very quick one.
Here I am two hours later!
I had a pretty quiet weekend, house worked on Saturday did some blogging.
My Pc wanted to use programs other what I wanted it to. Peter helped me yet again
via the phone to whip it into shape.
I then went out to have a lovely lunch at The power Boat Club. Delicious! Grilled fish
with salad followed by a small slice of wicked baked blueberry cheesecake.
We then went back to my friend's place for tea or coffee. June was moving yesterday,
down to Coomera, she will now be closer to her daughter Norma who has been my
friend for longer than June her mother. Norma lives at Tamborine I have mentioned
being at her place in an earlier post. Not great news for me as I will not see either
of them as often as I used to.
Yesterday and today I have been to work, after work I went for a long walk along the beachfront.
Now I must finish off here and go cook myself dinner. Until next time God Bless and take care
Margaret

10 comments:

Peter said...

A lovely post Margaret, as with all things it becomes easier once you understand the whys and wherefores.
Is the second photo of lyle taken at Jackie and Kens front door at the Bay?

JunieRose2005 said...

Margaret,

Thanks for sharing your story.

Junie

Merle said...

Dear Margaret ~ Lovely post about
your life with Lyle. You did very well to look after him as long as you did, and at least he is at peace now.
The first year seems to be hardest,
ad then Christmas and birthdays etc
Thanks for your comment, glad you enjoy the posts. Take care, Love,
Merle.

Jim said...

Thank you, Margaret for sharing some of your memories of Lyle with us. I knew from the picture he was a good guy because he was drinking his Coke from a glass with a straw.
I know you miss him a lot. You were his very loving care giver for a long time. Have you read any from the book, "Chicken Soup for the Care Giver?"
..

wazza said...

Gidday Merle,
Naturally I remember Lyle as when I would come up to visit Peter, I would go and say "hello" to you both and we would all have dinner together. Lyle would often tell me stories of his early days. It's a darn shame when one of a "twosome" becomes ill and eventually you are unable to manage on your own. This was a lovely post.
Ah the joys of living alone!!!! sometimes good and sometimes bad??

Jeanette said...

Dear Margaret
A lovely post on your life with Lyle.Memories live on forever. thank you for sharing this story
Take Care, Jan

Jack K. said...

Margaret, thanks for sharing your the story of Lyle's time with you.

I know it is difficult to watch a dear loved one begin to deteriorate. Maryann's mother (Margaret) lived with us for about 14 months a couple of years ago. Because of Maryann's health issues and Margaret's needs we had to take her back to Pennsylvania and move her to an assisted living facility. Unfortunately, her dementia overcame her and she was moved to a nursing facility where she is receiving the constant care she requires.

She no longer recognizes us. This is very distressing to Maryann and to me. She is such a sweet person. One of these days she will pass on to join her beloved Clarence.

I wish you well. Keep up your good works.

Serve others, care about those you serve, and share the love in your heart.

Merle said...

Hi again Margaret ~ Thanks so much for your comments. I am lad y enjoy the poems, jokes and even the quotes.
Glad you liked "Love is - -" and I
know special times are the hardest.
Aren't we lucky to have such wonderful memories of happier times?
Take care, my friend. Lve, Merle.

Meow said...

Beautiful post, Margaret. Thank you for sharing your wonderful memories of the wonderful life you had together.
Hope you are doing well.
Take care,
Meow

Granny said...

I know how hard an extended illness can be on all.

Beautiful post.