Saturday, September 23, 2006

You've Got Mail!

Hello everyone, I hope you have all had a great week, I have had some very
good news this week, and my eldest grandson and his wife are the proud
parents of a baby girl called Teagen Margaret.

The Margaret is for the maternal grandmother who sadly passed away
about 18 months ago.

I am at the moment up in Gympie catching up with my friends, at the same
time picking up some blogging tuition. I have learned quite a few helpful
hints which will make my blogging life much simpler.

That’s it for now cheers Margaret.

A Man was in his front yard mowing grass when this attractive blonde female neighbour comes out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it and slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

A little later she came out again went to the mailbox, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the was getting ready to edge the lawn, out she came again, marched to the letterbox, opened it and slammed it harder shut than ever, Puzzled by her actions the man asked her,” Is something wrong?”

She replied, There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, ‘YOU’VE GOT MAIL.’

What is a cat?

Cats do what they want.
They rarely listen to you.
They are totally unpredictable.
When you want to play, they want to be alone.
When you want to be alone they want to play.
They expect you to cater to their every whim.
They are moody.
They leave their hair everywhere.
They drive you nuts and cost you an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They are tiny women in fur coats.

What is a dog?

Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you are in
the same room.
They growl when they are not happy.
When you want to play, they want to play.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They are great at begging.
They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
They leave their toys everywhere.
They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: They are little men in fur coats.

Married Couple

A Married couple were in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body as she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and the wife agreed that they would tell no one where

the skin came from, they requested that the doctor honour their secret. After all this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty.

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.”

“My darling , he replied, “Think nothing of it. I get all the thanks that I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the Cheek.”


Jack K. said...

Margaret, congratulations on keeping at it and getting more information on how to blog.

I do enjoy your funny stories too.

Merle said...

Hello Margaret, Nice to get some good news for a change isn't it?
The jokes were good, I liked the last one best as I hadn't heard it.
I like the You've got mail too. Funny
Glad you had a visit to Gympie to see friends and more help with blogging.
You are now a great grandma!!
Take care, Margaret, Love, Merle.