A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.
'Hello,' said the little boy
'Hi,' replied the little girl.
'Where are you going?' asked the little boy.
'I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home,'
answered the little girl.
'I'm also on my way home from church.
Which church do you go to?' asked the little boy.
'I go to the Lutheran church back down the road,' replied the little girl.
'What about you? '
'I go to the Catholic church back at the top of the hill,'
replied the little boy.
They discover that they are both going the same way
so they decided that they'd walk together.
They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially
flooded the road, so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet.
'If I get my new Sunday dress wet, my Mom's going to skin me alive,'
said the little girl.
'My Mom'll tan my hide, too, if I get my new Sunday suit wet,'
replied the little boy.
'I tell you what I think I'll do,' said the little girl. 'I'm gonna pull
off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across.'
'That's a good idea,'replied the little boy.
'I'm going to do the same thing with my suit.'
So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting
their clothes wet. They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry
before putting their clothes back on, when the little boy finally remarked .
'You know, I never realized before just how much difference there really is between a Lutheran and a Catholic!!!
Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian,any more than
standing in a garage makes you a mechanic.
For everybody there is and equal and opposite government program.
If you look like your passport photo, you probably need the trip.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Middle age is when narrowness of the mind and narrowness of
the waist change places.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
Experience is a wonderful thing it enables you to recognize a
mistake when you make it again.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Never be afraid to try something new, remember an amateur
built the Ark and a team of experts built the Titanic.
It's easier to "get" forgiveness than permission.
Don't worry what people think , they don't do it very often.
If you must choose between two evils pick the one you never tried before.
Opportunity always looks bigger going than coming.
Thou shalt not weigh more than your fridge.
The one thing that unites all human beings regardless of age, gender,
religion, ethnic background is that we all believe that we are above
It is NOT the jeans that make your bum look fat...........It IS the fat!
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Nobody cares if you can dance or not, just get up and dance.
Eat well stay fit Die anyway.