Saturday, March 03, 2007

Plan B

Hello everyone, I was going to post some photos today of my cats.

However seeing that I have put my how to use camera book somewhere safe??? (read never to be seen again in this life most likely) that will have to wait until I check out the store where I bought the camera.

I have not had this camera long and have only downloaded once, quite some time ago, hence my still needing my "destruction" book.

I will post some humour instead. Just before I do that that on a more serious note,

We have to feel for those poor people in America, who have been having a tough time with all the horrific storms that have caused so much destruction and death in some places .It must be terrible to have to live through something like that. My heart went out to one young man I saw on the news, who had brought two young children out who had died in a high school, He was deeply affected as one would be by this tragedy that he had been faced with.




Thanks Ken and Jackie for these jokes you emailed me.


Just came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle
strength in the arms and shoulders.

It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to some of my friends and
family.

The article suggested doing it three days a week.
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room
at each side.

With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from
your sides and hold them there as long as you can.
Try to reach a full minute, then relax.

Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks.
Then 50-lb potato sacks.

Eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each
hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
(I'm at this level)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.




CREATION - THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION


In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches
going to the beach . . .and BBQ's

He created night for going prawning, sleeping . . .and BBQ's,
and God saw that it was good.

On the Second Day, God created water –for surfing ,swimming and BBQ's on the beach ,
and God saw that it was good.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to provide
malt and yeast for beer.... and wood for BBQs,
and God saw that it was good.

On the Fourth Day God created animals
and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for BBQ's,
and God saw that it was good.

On the Fifth day God created a Bloke - to go to the footy, enjoy the beach,
drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQ's,
and God saw that it was good.

On the Sixth Day God saw that the Bloke was lonely and needed someone to go
to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the Barbie with. . .
So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good Blokes,
and God saw that it was good.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling Barbie fires, heard
the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes. He
smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns ,
and God saw that itwas good ... ...

Well . . . Almost good.

He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
So God created Sheila's - to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to
cook and to clean the Barbie,
and then God saw that it was not just good . . .

It was better than that, it was Awesome!
IT WAS AUSTRALIA !!!!!



PERKS OF BEING OVER 50







1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at
9 pm and ask, Did I wake you????
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at
4 pm .
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

That's all folks.





20 comments:

PEA said...

Hello Margaret:-) I hope you do find your camera booklet...I received a new camera for Christmas and don't know how many times I had to look into the booklet to find out how somthing worked! lol I'm still laughing at those jokes...the potatoe sack exercise one is just too funny!! Thank you so much for making my day:-) Hope all is well with you! Hugs xoxo

Leann said...

LOL you crack me up.love the jokes.they made my day.yes what would men do without woman to clean up after them. after a month in the garden of eden there would have been one big mess.God bless you and have great weekend.

Christina said...

loved the jokes, especially the exercise program. LOL!

Thanks for the well-wishes for us Americans. Here in Florida we have recently had a number of fatalities due to storms and tornados. Many homes have been destroyed. And I know other parts of the country are having hard times too. God bless these people and their families.

Granny said...

I'm stealing that last joke if you don't mind.

Merle said...

Hi Margaret ~~ Good jokes as usual. I am way behind in my replies and hope to get them all done tonight, before the trip to hospital tomorrow.Thanks for your e-mail asking how I am. OK at the moment, but have a kidney stone stuck in the ureter below the kidney. So they hope to push it back into kidney and shatter it and put a stent in. Not happy about that one as I had one years ago and had problems. All this under General anaesthetic. Hope you find your camera book, so you can post more photos. Take care, Love, Merle.

Jeanette said...

Hi Margaret .
Nice post great jokes, I hope you find your camera book soon.

Tracey said...

Cute jokes; I'm going to pass the potato sack one along to my grandmother =)

Tammy said...

Yes, tis the storm season here in many parts of the USA...I've never been in one but I traveled through an area that was hit once and it truly was as if a bomb had gone off...very sad!!
I loved all of your jokes!!
:-D

Britmum said...

Great jokes...

The storms are terrible and sad. I think global warming is catching us up fast.

Take care xx

Jim said...

I can't find my camera book either. I keep it at the Kodak Web site.
..

wazza said...

Gidday Margaret,
Yep, sometimes you need the camera book, especially to check some functions. It's a bugger when you can't remember where you put it.
Reminds me of your joke "Perks of being over 50." Too bad I can relate to most of these comments and youse
gotta admit there's nothing like a Aussie BBQ.

Lee said...

Margaret, Google the make of your camera and you should be able to download its manual. I did that for mine.

Jamie Dawn said...

You sound like you are as technically "gifted" as I am. I have no idea how to take photos or movies with my cell phone. I've had this phone for quite some time, but I have no idea how all the neat features on it work. I DO know how to use my camera though without the instuction manual. :)

Thanks for the laughs. I'm going to be daring and start my new workout with the 100 pound bags.
Wish me luck!

DellaB said...

I still need my camera book, I can't memorise all the things I can do, so I refer to the book. Can you get a copy of the manual from download off the maker's site?

We do that for mobile phones...

Love the funnies, specially the potato sacks.

sad, sad world - all bad news everywhere, except that the spirit of people seems to go on undaunted, doesn't it?

thanks Margaret..
Della

Gwen said...

Hi Marg..
If you cant find your book buy another camera..Ha!Ha! only joking.
It will turn up some where.
Keep Well xx

Peter said...

Hi Margaret, good to see you are posting... even sans photos, if you plug your USB cable into the camera and computer the "wizard" should look after your download.

Gattina said...

As it's sunday today I do my little walk through blogville and here I am. Downloading pictures must be very easy at least with my camera. I have to plug in a cable in my camera (there is only one hole to do so, so that I can't do anything wrong) and the other end I plug in the computer. That's all, it's all done by itself. Must be the same with you !
But first I saw you wanted to put pictures of your cats and of course I thought about the group I created about 2 months ago "Cats on Tuesday" where people blog once a week (on tuesdays) about their cats. I don't know if you know about it, maybe I asked you already, but each time I see the word "cat" on a blog it itches in my fingers !
BTW God had not only created Australia (was very funny to read) but also the cats :

The first day God created the cat
The second day God created the men to serve the cat
the third day God created all animals in the world to serve the cat as food
the fourth day God created work and let men work for the cat's wellbeing
the fith day Gott created a sparkling ball so that the cat could play with it (or not)
the sixth day God created the veterinarians to watch over the cat's health and ruin the man.
The seventh day God wanted to rest but he had to clean the cat's litterbox

HORIZON said...

Love the perks for being over 50. Some of them apply already-lol
Looking forward to your pics when you are up and running- hope you find the booklet soon.
Bests

Merle said...

Hi again Margaret ~~ Thanks for your visit and I am glad you enjoyed the jokes. I am glad you had a nice time in Gympie and hoe Ken had a great birthday. Take care, Love, Merle.

Merle said...

Hi Margaret ~~ I do hope you are
feeling much better. Peter had on his blog that you have been sick with a virus and having back problems. Do hope you are soon well again. Take care, Love, Merle.